Learning is onerous.
Set against the background of morals and ethics that change from person to person with very little to give one a lead, it can be conflicting to think of meditation in a real context. It might be conflicting thought that a meditator lives with no lust for life, and yet manages to make effort and acquire skills that can make a gymnast jealous, to speak figuratively ;) But attaining skills is not the aim.
Like a veil lifting from everything I see, my memory has improved a bit. I am more involved with my world lately as there seemed to be better articulation n better balance. This is coming after a phase when I thought I was going wrong somewhere … but it seems that sometimes you just keep going and keep paying on the right path and not worry about the rest. However, this post is not about that. The post was supposed to start as ‘The joy of meditation has shifted from objects.’ At home I have a bowl and a plate I eat from, meditating on the plate while eating. There is a mat I sit on to meditate … but while traveling the only ‘object’ I relied on to meditate was the breath. Suddenly I realized that meditation was not dependent on the object/s. There was no need for tangible objects for some time as if there was a disassociation. Even words/language are not directly linked to meditation. My senses are all the time taking in the surroundings … and the hold on the sensory objects eased a little, this seemed to be a significant moment.
But learning is onerous, and I am still learning. Am back to figure out the mechanics of balancing with tangible objects, but with much less passion for life, much less clinging. And as if a new phase has started, there is better balance with the world and its hypocrisy.
As I move on the path, I realize how significant it is to be moral to keep going. Just to get started one needs morality. (ref. Five Precepts)
