Death

All this drama is going to end one day

Day in day out - death

:)

Scraping off Sense-of-Self

Again with a stiff body I sat down for meditation, for the nth time in this life.

Stiff, stiff stiff, me me me. I gradually started noticing for the first time, the sense of me is instilled in each column of the spine, in each nerve, tissue, sinew … so filled up with the sense of self, and therefore so stiff.

Will take time to scrape it down and not paint new layers on it.

BIG task ahead

*Sense of self/ me me me - not to be understood as 'selfish'  but closer to the Pali word 'anatta' or non self

My Poem

Deep blue ocean of love
spread as far as eyes can see

I need no float, no mast, no ship
Flung myself to become one with the sea

Splash I did, and hard I hit
...o waves, no tides, the sea was gone
Soiled myself in a muddy bottom of a pond

Tell me what to do

I was speaking to my sister earlier ... apart from sharing an understanding we share many things in common ... just makes it easier to share and understand each other.

So, I was talking to her about choices I made and decisions done staking material things and saving conscientiousness and moral pride. Staking everything.

We then talked about how loads of people would 'compromise' and change their moral standards when they face opposing tides. Suddenly, when faced with a difficult situation there arises an inner conflict, and people say, ''I do not know what to do''!

And then this precious thought occurred to me - only few, very few have the clarity and courage of knowing what to do in difficult situations. Obviously if you are practicing Dhamma there is no doubt that you be with the truth, and then there are no doubts about what to do ...

Very few people have clarity and moral vision in rough times, these people have the ;rare' quality of knowing what to do.
This sets them apart from others, and this very quality of knowing what to do when times are rough, goes in makings of a good leader.

I mentioned this quality relating it with being a leader to my sister since she will be managing big businesses soon after she graduates from her MBA college in India.

So, leaders that have a strong foundation in vision that comes from goodwill for others and moral virtue will be in the right, they will be trusted and be loved!

When faced with a difficult situation they would not compromise themselves, rather they will Know what to do ...

Compromisers have the attitude - Tell me what to do

Meditation requires all good qualities, you will find many times that meditation appeals you to have qualities that you read in classic tales - tales of courage and sacrifice, of true love and dignity. Meditation requires you to know your own true answers. Meditation teaches you to not be 'tell me what to do' it teaches you to look within and find answers for yourself. The yogis do say the answers lies within!

It does indeed!

Buddha Relics

Went to meditate with Tibetan Lamas visiting north London carrying with them the relics of Shakyamuni Buddha with them.

The tour is Maitreya Tour

 http://www.maitreyaproject.org/en/relic/index.html

Silence

It is possible that you could be progressing on the path and even as you make progress you have nothing to ‘teach’ others. Sometimes you need silence to weed out, and then learn more for yourself. And forget about what mistakes went by and take on new tidal waves, one after another.

Silence might also imply blankness ...

Also when you share with an intention to teach there is a certain degree of pride in it. Anyone who teaches has some pride (confidence) in them. There is confidence that come naturally with fully knowing something, and confidence that may exist of itself without even knowing. You will find that people who have confidence without knowing far outnumber people who have genuine confidence and genuine knowledge. Same goes for pleasure, we may have comprehension and impulse of pleasure without actually reaching bliss. It is like having a tube access that uplifting drugs leave you with.

Pursing fake pleasure and not knowing real from unreal our minds become so thick we cant comprehend between real and superficial pleasure, blindness so thick that we stop making progress. How will one gain the right kind of confidence that comes from true knowing?

This ignorance can be as thick as having lost the sense of direction after being under hundreds of meters in a cold, dead and dark sea where not a single ray of sunlight has reached in hundreds of years.

What sense of direction can such a mind have?

When people come out to teach others, even when they make a lot of noise/appeal, show some magic tricks and serenity, ignorance might still be running thick.

When someone goes silent and goes into the forest, the experience might still not be profound.

I dont know why I write this post?

If Times are Rough - Meditate

Benefits of meditation are proverbial. I am not going to say anything new here. Just sharing 'my' experience.

It has been a while - since I wrote on this blog. Also, been some time since I have had a 'good' meditation. By good, please understand I do not imply pleasure, but clarity. Yesterday night I tried again, to sit and meditate, mind went into its wanderings keeping it occupied with thoughts (hence away from clarity, clear 'seeing'). But some moments were clear, objective, and just with the breath, I tapped in these to discover meditative attitudes and explored deeper objectivity.

These moments of deeper understanding are like earthquakes. Leave a long lasting impact even when you go back to everyday life.

For me, it was special also for couple of other reasons. My laptop stopped working (dust in fan so was overheating and shutting down, Virus etc.) No one would tell me what the problem was or ask for insane amounts of money, one mechanic said my computer was worth 4,000 Rs and will cost 5,000 to repair. I came back home without getting it fixed and feeling very miserable as I was kept from being connected from my loved ones - I use the computer a lot for Skype.

Anyway, I meditated and had those clear moments. Weather as if celebrated this and we had a storm and then after that gifted us with beautiful crystal clear sunshine, perfect temprature, and clean air (I live in a very dusty and p[olluted city otherwise).

A mechanic came to my house and fixed the coputer for 500 Rs.

And things changed generally. Things I was feeling crazy about now seem sorted. Nothing much has changed materially, but I am relating this to meditation. Somehow meditation brings changes in your material landscape. To know it - experience it.

Love


#after the meditation last night pain in back of my neck was gone - pain from stress, I woke up early and refreshed and felt beautiful inside, kept smiling.

Ok, am going now, a friend is coming around to return some money I lent her some time back ...