Amartya Sen I Kapila from Trishur

After the Eric Maskin talk I was going towards the hostel thinking about the question s people had asked Eric.
These kind of questions come from the same collective mind-set amongst our audience time and again. A generalised (and a wrong context) with a backing of self-proclaimed spiritual arrogance (from which the generalisation that all material knowledge is incomplete) and motive of not asking but trying to suggest one's profundity from an extremely twisted questions, rooted in no evidently factual basis pertaining to the speaker's subject.

With such thoughts I was walking back to my hostel.
Entered the hostel gate and went straight to the lab to check my mail ignoring the Spic Macay dance organised in our hostel, some classical music shit. Checked my mail, lot of editingwork had arrived from Oxford University Press (Delhi). Going back up to my room felt like taking a peek at the dance, first few minutes I wanted to get up and leave, but then as if one of the drummers saw me and I felt he'd be hurt if I just turn back and go. Haven taken my shoes off I st down in a dark corner away from the small bunch of audience huddled together looking at the small stage temporarily set up in our mess for the natya (performance).
Next 2 and half hours I witnessed the best dance I had ever seen in my life.
It was a solo classical dance performance, depicting only in mudras (dancer's expressions and poses, with 3 completely synchronised drummers) Lord Vishnu's mythical incarnation, some tale I wasn't aware of. I didn't know what the different poses meant ... but the stamina, the brilliance and slowly the understanding and appreciation for the performance arrived. I understood the rise and fall of emotions, the victory and defeat, the war drums, the massive armies, the bloody fights, the gory death, fear, apprehension, courage and valour all depicted in that dance performance, the stage became the stage for not one, but three worlds (mythical belief) ... I was stunned by this living tradition

Later on, the person, who was with the lady who perofrmed the dance and d three drummers (they had sweated while drumming in temperature close to 6 degrees, someone told me that during one of the performance they continued drumming even as their fingers started bleeding!) told me that the I have a keen observation, the tradition is indeed living, and then he added the dance was spontaneous when I exclaimed at the number of hours of straining performance the performers were capable of. Amzed me, the synchrony was spontaneous, and so perfect!


Amartya Sen's lecture was the next day, attended it in the convention hall with Robin, standing, the hall was packed with audience. He spoke on how important it is for the public sector to make available basic facilitated like education, for all. The topic was 'Inequality and the Public Sector'

The talk today at Vice chancellor's office

Eric Maskin came for a talk. He got the N prize for economics this year.

People who came for the talk were mostly old professors. The hall was not full, as I had expected. He spoke for fifteen minutes. Then it was open for questions. People asked, he tried to reply ...questions were such. The battery of the mike went off, the projector threw a tilted projection. People wore blank looks and kept dripping in to the hall during the lecture ... oof

Aaj Hai Kal Nahi

Day before:
Came back from college at around 4:30, left the bag, jacket and stole I was carrying on the sofa in the lounge, could see Vidya studying in the mess from the glass door. Went to the loo. Was going to shit after two days of contipation and fever so excitement was building up. Did the thing. Came out and the jacket is gone. I didn't have to look again to undertand the Jaket with my purse and mobile in it is taken by someone on his/her way out. it was left invitingly on the right handle of the sofa for the convenience of anyone going out/entering/passing by through the lounge. Office guys helped, hoshiar sing ji, the genius he is, talked to every girl mentioning how bad it is that a jacket got stolen ... i guess the person who took it got guilty or may be scared cuz we were checking the rooms, a lot of ppl gathered and made a fuss (i was calm, meditator's calm, losing the only jacket I hv at the start of winters is a big deal) and left in the one of the bathrooms, an annou cement was made for me by the gatekeepr and I treated 'em with sweets

# after losing all I had I went to meet AF and she told me that she had a friend I could help by talking to her about freelance editing but when I was positioned better, (I had fever, had just lost my goods, was already broke, asignents were due and had come to pay her a visit cuz didn't speak to her when she arrived at the hostel seconds after I lost my jacket as I was speaking to office ppl and gate keeper) surprisingly I took both of them to Nirula's and very calmly told her bout the functionality of editing, the ways methods and functionalities, told 'em stories, discussed being women, ...was calm, vipssana works in everyday life


Kids:

Last morning, as I massaged my head, brilliant sunshine on our high hostel roof ... I could watch the play in the kids school next door to our hostel. this is a pre-nursery kids school, guess it is more like day-care for mothers;) Kids learn to dance and there is a stage show at the end of the term, how nice:)) It is difficult to train such small kids to dance and to mk 'em remember the moves etc. some smart teacher chose the 'crazy frog' dance to a funky tune, some teacher had chosen a bengali song by Tagore on 'dhan' and really owrked hard on the kids ... lv'd it all

Just returned from Gargesh sir's stylistics class. He talked about intrinsic and extrinsic reality, modles of Tragen and A.A Hill on language...structure and organic relationship in text analysis. It is funny, they read these western scholars and without reaching the depths come and reciprocate the words and concepts very literally in the class. His class is again at 2. Have to go to Knags to increase the RAM of the laptop, dunnow how much will it cost, but should be worth it, irritating when it works slow!

OUP

Oxford University Press -oup
They are paying me Rs 15 per page for copyediting some silly hotel management book. Big names but they pay peanuts and get mediocre jobs done from graduaes, students/anybody who would take their cheap rates and follow the style sheets right 'oxford coma' n all and do the weeding.
Want ot finish this book before I go for the field trip to collect data for the project, with my linguistics class.
Got slight fever and cold, my matress is too thin to sleep on and I would lie cold all night, and stay in bed for extended time (till 8) since it is a little warm and me can rest ... can't believe I couldn't afford a thick mattress, last year I was fine with the ol mattress, guess I have grown am aging he he brother called up to ask my account number so that he may transfer money, I need it, I refused. Refusing the money right now is risking my MA degree, have been working for peanuts, payments get stuck (publishing houses pay after months opf getting the job done) and only 4 months left for the course to end, need time to study, and peace of mind. FOrtune recently befell the family, they won the court case, am happy for them. But they had snatched my basics rights from me as a child, have been very insensitive, and made me realise I have to look after myself, a great realisation, evryone has to take their own responsibility and suffer the pain if sickness comes, sooner u realise the better it is. Realisation dawned on me as a child, through the family and am thankful to all of them. Would have never understood the existentialist plight, would have never appreciated vipassana like I do, May they be happy, may all be happy...
lv

Winter noon

Was walking back from the dept. Saw AP sitting in a grey suit sitting on a bench with a student of his (now a teacher with him in the dept.) he greeted me, I noticed he considered shaking hands and seeing no initiation on my part held back-the gentleman he is!
H asked me to narrate the amusing story, how before the leaving home the following day brother smashed my cell and hit me, and mom hit me for crying too much, I was calm ...cried all night after the incident knew that I'd be leaving them they had tested my patience, next day took mom out to CP, hanuman mandir, shopping stores, coffee house, made her day, slept calmly, next morning got up early arranged my certificates passports, made breakfast for her, and slipped out, with a bag of clothes. AP finds the story amusing cuz i showed conviction, and cuz i didn't react and was calm. He wiped a tear and said strong stories make him cry. He is a fine man Prof. Gargesh commented. We got talking about relationships and he told me not get in to a relationship and take care of studies and not to consider marrying broke guys ;) ... he comes to arts fac. every Tuesday

AP: Do not repeat mistakes, make new ones!

My gmail status: Learning is explosive, you Know when it happens

At the hostel

... all kinds of situations come up. exams, pranks, disasters, friends calling, getting broke, education trips, people cheating and lonely people...some times everything happens at the same time around you.

have a major exam day after. haven't studied the whole year. got the books day before yesterday, yesterday was gone as friends came calling and me would not say nay, today another friend came, I was studying. She needed a place to stay as she lives in another town and needs to write her exams but has no place to stay in Delhi. She is an old friend who is still overwhelmed by troubled childhood experiences and talks a lot, sentimental shit. I'd fail if I listen to her banter, and she can't stay in the same room and not talk. "Will you let me stay with you for exams?" she asked...I am so pathetic (i already share my room with my roomie) that I said 'yes'. Got juice for her, asked her to keep her mouth shut in terse words, asked her to sleep. She gets up and starts yanking about miseries of life, I asked her to open my cupboard, take my face wash and get fresh...got tea and chips for her in the meantime. Gave it to her without a word and went back to studies. She sat on the opposite bed turning a book while I studied. She opens my cupboard-'you got all herbal stuff', you know u should eat amla for vitamin C like i do everyday, what is this, wat is this...even I am thinking of getting my underarms done...have you never done that I asked the post graduate student. "No". Took her to the bathroom, showed her how to, as I did it for her, gifted her my personal kitty. Gave her a back massage after she took a bath as she never sits straight and asked her to keep her back straight when she sits. Basic hygiene

Come to stay a day before your exam, leave me to alone to study now. She is a brilliant student…the kinds who miss the forest while looking at the trees