Be Not Scared of Nothingness

In Buddhism they say your enemy is one that comes across as sweet but is not, like flattery.

And sometimes we do not recognize what is beautiful as beautiful.

Moments when I have nothing to do are beautiful moments, potentially. And I see 'nothing' is what I used to be scared of. Mind would run towards accomplishments, sport, entertainment, when 'nothing' is beautiful, and that only. Nothing is active, nothing is truly open, nothing is fun, in the hands of one who is bereft of lethargy and passion. It opens true doors of exploring, of undoing, of unlearning, of true being.


We unfortunately tell ourselves we are bored. What void are we trying to constantly fill?

Unsettling at First

Mindfulness gets rid of a conditioned existence. Now, in the 'real' world one works because of associations. I know my bus would come at a certain time because it came yesterday, and day before...so its functionality for us, not to be taken to the heart. I should not become upset if it didnt come today, if I really meditate. Meditation is not automated, not a conditioning. The effort of being in the present, even the most wonderful moments of being without 'thought' are small achievements compared to a yogi who is mindful of deeper associations and gets rid of them (vipassi) in each moment. Even without associations, surprisingly (for most of us, we dont know functionality can exist without associations) functionality remains but there is an added clear perception, existence is no longer compulsive and mechanical, the existential angst goes away, no phobias and compulsions remain over time. This state comes gradually, even to a meditator. Ideas of love and self ungergo change as one progresses. One becomes radical enough to love enemies n friends alike. Therefore instead of forming associations, as the man from the woods says, give space.
Vipassana is an effort of seeing, of seeing outside what the id tells us. It is tremendously unsettling to become strange to one's own ideas, they were never our ideas, they were associations

Also, a conditioned mind becomes incapable of the real. It seems rude to be saying this. Like some people want to feel compassion, they can keep on reciting it, might believe they have compassion but they are still far from it, self-convincing is not compassion...
It will come by itself when there are precepts, no hatred, no greed, u know



My Earlier Post
Associations
Some association are more real: I had spice and was breathing out fire, literally, could feel my hot spicy breath on the finger tips as I rested my cheek on my hand.

Some associations are not real. Like falling in love with someone ;)

All associations are neither good nor bad.

For starters, all associations are bad!

Looking at things

No matter how advanced in meditation, I observed what I would like in a meditator is how much space s/he has

Like, looking back, I thought to myself it is not about how poor or how good I am at it already, its about being basic, being simple, bring Truthful to myself. I might have a rich bank balance of good karma or not, the only thing that matters is that I had the fortune to listen and practice dhamma. Also, it really does not matter where on the path I stand, I have to set sight on the next pace and the final goal, no left or right ;)

It becomes easier to know u have to be/act the same, keep getting lighter. Some have made tremendous progress without knowing much, or having extraordinary skills, they just had a simpler disposition ... I think thats what matters in ultimate success. Simple, clear, noble wins, no matter how big or small

Metta

Disarmed

Though low on music I started on some sounds:
Majushri Mantra
and things like:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM981Hz692w&feature=related

Nothing seemed to happen for months, though I did calm down, the mantras replacing other thoughts and filling my mind with sounds reminding me of associations, boddhisatvas, pragya and most importantly metta, giving a rhythm ... everything seemed to remind me of purity and love.

Then on Thursday I put on headphones to attend a training, I opened a * 4 minute chant out of habit, something stirred so massively I was close to tears, my face lost the usual 'normal' expression ... I just wanted to cry, got close to tears and in a few seconds went back to work!
Work is work ;)

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYO7mWq3Og&feature=related

There is love n respect. Someone just returned from Japan, talked of respect as 'culture' ... may be it can be more real. May be love is respect, may be bravery is respect, may be love is respect LOL


...had last meal of the day at 5, a small serving of boiled Chickpea and an apple, will spend the evening doing Yoga, starts at 7!

Like it?

With some realisations lately . . . how I wasnt sad in one extreme situation, and now not happy in another blessed one. It feels like I have only become a big glacier melting away

Peace