Look this is purely experiential - the quality of your pleasure. Try to look at this in other ways too, like the quality of your devotion to a relationship. Is it the same as how much the other person is putting in at the same time? You would sometimes notice how your selfless intentions are grossly misinterpreted. Instead of feeling abused in such times, learn to identify the quality of the mind, whatever the present experience facilitates to you.
Try to reap a higher quality of mind. For this you will need to learn to love. If this seems difficult then cultivate forgiveness. Most of the time we forget to forgive ourselves. And keep sticking to the same opinion of ourselves, which may be a moment old! Things change in a moment. Look for this kind of refreshing opportunity new moments unfold. Try not to be old, it’s a conception. This way you will not live in your past opinion of yourself, forget about others, what they think. You are new, each moment.
With this newness you can achieve anything, even something beyond ‘pleasure’ ... don’t we get tired of pleasure sometimes? There must be a reason for partying to end around dawn, or may be for a change, we change the group we party with! Look at this constant need for change. Can you really identify if it is pleasure or change that we are seeking? Try to think why sometimes people give up on perfectly good partners, even give up jobs, what is it if not for ‘change’. Without regrets, try to think of the quality of such minds. You will see constant 'craving' in the underbelly, craving takes away much more that it brings or even makes you aspire for. Do you relate to a fluctuating mind with poor quality? Can you observe this fluctuation (confusion)
Does change make any difference … I mean its endless, if you don’t understand it. But if you can observe it, you have a way out. At a small level you need to be able to observe the changing (arising passing) at the (atomic) level of body, or observe the dynamics of breath. You will be suffused with life, we forget we are alive! This ability to observe will help you observe change in the world outside, and you will see changing situations, however unpleasant, like you see the changing colors of the sky. You will be able to do this without feeling the displeasure/pleasure that we normally bring in when relating to an experience, which actually is the reality of change, be comfortable, be at ease with changing phenomenon, just that.
Its just change ... each day, every moment! You will reach a stage of equanimity where no matter how stark or unpleasing the situation is, how unexpected, you are ready to receive/deal with it, without getting toppled over*. You will decide beautifully, you will indeed welcome change without trading away your peace! But you need to stop to meditate for this ability to help you, like you water a plant, you need to meditate regularly. Meditative ‘stillness’ gives you that window, to actually observe change, that also is an observation in non-self. Be moral, like I always recommend. And if you have regrets, just look at the new you!
Meditate for ten minutes. See if you can remove thoughts and concerns and just breathe freely, with attention. Try a little hard breathing if you lose attention and if you are feeling tense. Try to have ten minutes of good attention to the breath, and sensations if u feel on the body. If the mind wanders, try again from the first …ten minutes of unbroken unwavering breath meditation.
Lv
