In my last post I talked about 'physical' and 'mental', 'preliminary' and 'advanced'.
It seems that there is gap, difference in cognition for 'physical' and 'mental'. This gap breaks down as you work and progress in meditation ...
Mere placeholders, these terms like 'physical reality', 'mental reality' ...
These terms are mere placeholders if you break the barriers between mental and physical, between perceived and real, until then these terms are of relevance as you make your progress penetrating through the deep unconscious. It is a long journey to come around and face all good and the bad stock from the unconscious.
To show light in deep dark sea, bit by bit, piece by piece (until one has fathomed all).
It seems, I am groping in the dark on the first sq. mtr of the vast seabed, :O
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
What happens?
What does a householder who is meditating do?
How does 'it' work for householders??
Meditation does not take away your physical capacity to experience passion, or indulgence. The capacity remains there.
But there is a difference now. Mind knows passion as mere passion, mental states as mental states. Just more clearly. One finds or experiences reduced or next to no pleasure in indulging in desire. Withdrawal from passion comes naturally!
Articulation of passion is now more grounded, subtle and self-contained. But there is little to say about experience in general terms. Experience can vary, will take an example here ... suppose a very skilled draftsmen who had worked only as an apprentice goes back to school and learns about the theoretical aspects and different schools of thought pertaining to his art. This draftsman comes back and does the same work.
Deeper understanding only shows the way, you have to work hard, learn and redirect efforts to make difference at physical level. Another example here can be learning music, even if you know the notes by heart, to manifest these through an instrument needs practice/skill. Just 'knowing' the notes does not help!
One has to learn to use and 'implement' the spiritual understanding in daily life for it to bring about physical changes. All the 'practice' is about that! Sometimes physical changes come automatically as manifestations of spiritual growth, but this is more true for advanced stages.
To begin with, better articulation might not immediately change the physical representations/skills, not in all cases. Sometimes, it is not even necessary. Sometimes deep changes happen in the mental structure without leaving any trace as physical manifestation of a change.
#In the long run, things do change, both physical and mental.
In business: A meditator with deeper understanding goes back to work each day, will experience subtle difference in his understanding, but the physical output at work may not reflect any big change inside. Work goes on as usual. If this meditator was good and organized, or was slow and clumsy, chances are there will barely be any difference immediately at the physical level. Yes, over time things will change significantly, more in terms of decisions than skillsets.
How does 'it' work for householders??
Meditation does not take away your physical capacity to experience passion, or indulgence. The capacity remains there.
But there is a difference now. Mind knows passion as mere passion, mental states as mental states. Just more clearly. One finds or experiences reduced or next to no pleasure in indulging in desire. Withdrawal from passion comes naturally!
Articulation of passion is now more grounded, subtle and self-contained. But there is little to say about experience in general terms. Experience can vary, will take an example here ... suppose a very skilled draftsmen who had worked only as an apprentice goes back to school and learns about the theoretical aspects and different schools of thought pertaining to his art. This draftsman comes back and does the same work.
Deeper understanding only shows the way, you have to work hard, learn and redirect efforts to make difference at physical level. Another example here can be learning music, even if you know the notes by heart, to manifest these through an instrument needs practice/skill. Just 'knowing' the notes does not help!
One has to learn to use and 'implement' the spiritual understanding in daily life for it to bring about physical changes. All the 'practice' is about that! Sometimes physical changes come automatically as manifestations of spiritual growth, but this is more true for advanced stages.
To begin with, better articulation might not immediately change the physical representations/skills, not in all cases. Sometimes, it is not even necessary. Sometimes deep changes happen in the mental structure without leaving any trace as physical manifestation of a change.
#In the long run, things do change, both physical and mental.
In business: A meditator with deeper understanding goes back to work each day, will experience subtle difference in his understanding, but the physical output at work may not reflect any big change inside. Work goes on as usual. If this meditator was good and organized, or was slow and clumsy, chances are there will barely be any difference immediately at the physical level. Yes, over time things will change significantly, more in terms of decisions than skillsets.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Calm = Sleepless
Fifth night I spent under the Bodhi tree meditating.
Usually they charge extra if you want to stay back at night to meditate under the tree, yesterday the temple monk gave permit without me having to pay - a gift!
I was alone this time, Olga in the hotel room tonight. Initially the sitting was very uncomfortable and I kept fidgeting, mosquitoes and general discomfort and I had to keep changing posture. I sat at 9 pm and opened my eyes at 12 pm to discover they had lighted one big light and the place was covered in mist. Closed my eyes and continued, wondering why am uncomfortable today (it still did not register it is getting quite cold).
I got up and left the shawl on the seat and walked around the temple, felt better, but as soon as I sat down I met agitation, picked my phone and found the metal part unusually cold. Hmm :)
Regardless, I kept meditating watching the discomfort of the body with calm in my mind. Soon mist began to condense into big drops, making everything wet. Like the Bodhi tree was dropping tears of karuna and metta. Open my eyes again to find monks walking around the tree unaffected by the cold and drew inspiration to continue(some Thai monks take up the practice of never lying down), another Thai laywoman sitting motionless in a white cotton saree. Sometimes, all you need to finish a task is guts!
Seeing the Thai woman, I was almost ashamed of my warm comfortable clothes. Continued my work calmly. In the morning I felt something opened eyes again to find the concerned watchman there taking stock if all meditators were alright after the sudden turn of weather. My face came out of the hood of my jacket smiling, he was relieved. He asked me why didnt I use a mosquito net - "Dont need it", I smiled and reply.
It was a tough night for all of us, evoked a sense of mutual love and support as all meditators worked together in silence for the whole night ... and the morning was most beautiful ever. A monk stopped and gifted me a Bodhi leaf from the tree in the morning.
I could easily pass a few days with very little sleep, and have never felt better.
When the mind is that calm, you need next to no sleep.
As you progress in meditation, you can forget about 'strong' experiences, welcome to the sphere of the subtle :)
Usually they charge extra if you want to stay back at night to meditate under the tree, yesterday the temple monk gave permit without me having to pay - a gift!
I was alone this time, Olga in the hotel room tonight. Initially the sitting was very uncomfortable and I kept fidgeting, mosquitoes and general discomfort and I had to keep changing posture. I sat at 9 pm and opened my eyes at 12 pm to discover they had lighted one big light and the place was covered in mist. Closed my eyes and continued, wondering why am uncomfortable today (it still did not register it is getting quite cold).
I got up and left the shawl on the seat and walked around the temple, felt better, but as soon as I sat down I met agitation, picked my phone and found the metal part unusually cold. Hmm :)
Regardless, I kept meditating watching the discomfort of the body with calm in my mind. Soon mist began to condense into big drops, making everything wet. Like the Bodhi tree was dropping tears of karuna and metta. Open my eyes again to find monks walking around the tree unaffected by the cold and drew inspiration to continue(some Thai monks take up the practice of never lying down), another Thai laywoman sitting motionless in a white cotton saree. Sometimes, all you need to finish a task is guts!
Seeing the Thai woman, I was almost ashamed of my warm comfortable clothes. Continued my work calmly. In the morning I felt something opened eyes again to find the concerned watchman there taking stock if all meditators were alright after the sudden turn of weather. My face came out of the hood of my jacket smiling, he was relieved. He asked me why didnt I use a mosquito net - "Dont need it", I smiled and reply.
It was a tough night for all of us, evoked a sense of mutual love and support as all meditators worked together in silence for the whole night ... and the morning was most beautiful ever. A monk stopped and gifted me a Bodhi leaf from the tree in the morning.
I could easily pass a few days with very little sleep, and have never felt better.
When the mind is that calm, you need next to no sleep.
As you progress in meditation, you can forget about 'strong' experiences, welcome to the sphere of the subtle :)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Difference
Olga and me both are reaping good fruits.
Both of us walk back after a night of meditation and wake after some rest between 8-10 am. Its amazing we walk or meditate near the Bodhi Tree through the day and are becoming better at staying calm and restful.
Yesterday, it became quite clear to me that it will not be difficult for me to be a monk. I will find it easier and more sense to live the life of a monk.
My gender stops me. At least brings in genuine concerns.
Both of us walk back after a night of meditation and wake after some rest between 8-10 am. Its amazing we walk or meditate near the Bodhi Tree through the day and are becoming better at staying calm and restful.
Yesterday, it became quite clear to me that it will not be difficult for me to be a monk. I will find it easier and more sense to live the life of a monk.
My gender stops me. At least brings in genuine concerns.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Dissolving
From Sarnath to Bodh Gaya
Dont know what and how much to write here. How much can be shared...
Right now near the Bodhi tree. We are spending five days here - or rather nights. Yesterday me and Olga (travel partner fellow meditator) spent the entire night meditating under the Bodhi tree. We walked back to our quarters at around 4 in the morning ... slept soon after and woke up in a few hours at 9 am completely rested. Olga has gone to the room to catch some rest now as I am sitting here writing this post – its 6 pm.
I feel quite good with her, money is of least concern between us and we frequently lose track of who paid for what :)
Today we spent some time walking in the local market as I wanted to buy fresh milk, fresh veggies and fresh bread instead of going to some eatery ... we got back to the room and had a good salad, fresh Tibetan bread, hot chocolate from the cow milk we were lucky enough to get. Going local turned out to be a super idea to save our guts from spice!
Going to soak almonds and soak chickpea for sprouts and have that for breakfast. I increasingly prefer cheap over expensive, and there are reasons - if you go to a cheap eatery chances are you will be served quickly, you walk out quickly and save time, food will be fresh and usually I ask them to cook in a particular way and it is easier to get it done in a smaller joint ... I feel safer in trains and public transport after bad experience with hired drivers hallucinating after lack of sleep, or drivers just trying to help us realize that we are single women daring to travel alone in Bihar.
It is great to stay in a Tibetan monastery and wake up with chanting and gongs, far better than a plush hotel with creature comforts.
I know am losing a lot of constructs, I could sit with street kids in the park surrounding the stupa marking the place where Buddha gave his first discourse and talk for hours and sip tea from the same cup ... ... I even washed the public bathroom in the Tibetan monastry before I used it. Funny part is it only occurred to me later that instead of taking all the trouble I could have paid someone to clean it! I saw the monks were cleaning the toilets and were not using soap, I simply went to my room, got lots of soap and scrubbed the toilets and bathrooms tiles till it was squeaky clean; then took a shower in cold water, and walked out with Olga for breakfast.
Numerous little things
Everybody began to recognize us n the small town of Sarnath - peculiar pair - an Indian and Western girl looking very peaceful waking past the streets ... not into rites and rituals but just with the ability to sit motionless for hours near the holy sites :)
People would smile as we would walk past in the small town J
Olga was a complete stranger before I met her for this trip at the meditation center, and we will soon be parting ways
Ja
Dont know what and how much to write here. How much can be shared...
Right now near the Bodhi tree. We are spending five days here - or rather nights. Yesterday me and Olga (travel partner fellow meditator) spent the entire night meditating under the Bodhi tree. We walked back to our quarters at around 4 in the morning ... slept soon after and woke up in a few hours at 9 am completely rested. Olga has gone to the room to catch some rest now as I am sitting here writing this post – its 6 pm.
I feel quite good with her, money is of least concern between us and we frequently lose track of who paid for what :)
Today we spent some time walking in the local market as I wanted to buy fresh milk, fresh veggies and fresh bread instead of going to some eatery ... we got back to the room and had a good salad, fresh Tibetan bread, hot chocolate from the cow milk we were lucky enough to get. Going local turned out to be a super idea to save our guts from spice!
Going to soak almonds and soak chickpea for sprouts and have that for breakfast. I increasingly prefer cheap over expensive, and there are reasons - if you go to a cheap eatery chances are you will be served quickly, you walk out quickly and save time, food will be fresh and usually I ask them to cook in a particular way and it is easier to get it done in a smaller joint ... I feel safer in trains and public transport after bad experience with hired drivers hallucinating after lack of sleep, or drivers just trying to help us realize that we are single women daring to travel alone in Bihar.
It is great to stay in a Tibetan monastery and wake up with chanting and gongs, far better than a plush hotel with creature comforts.
I know am losing a lot of constructs, I could sit with street kids in the park surrounding the stupa marking the place where Buddha gave his first discourse and talk for hours and sip tea from the same cup ... ... I even washed the public bathroom in the Tibetan monastry before I used it. Funny part is it only occurred to me later that instead of taking all the trouble I could have paid someone to clean it! I saw the monks were cleaning the toilets and were not using soap, I simply went to my room, got lots of soap and scrubbed the toilets and bathrooms tiles till it was squeaky clean; then took a shower in cold water, and walked out with Olga for breakfast.
Numerous little things
Everybody began to recognize us n the small town of Sarnath - peculiar pair - an Indian and Western girl looking very peaceful waking past the streets ... not into rites and rituals but just with the ability to sit motionless for hours near the holy sites :)
People would smile as we would walk past in the small town J
Olga was a complete stranger before I met her for this trip at the meditation center, and we will soon be parting ways
Ja
Monday, November 28, 2011
On Pilgrimage
Just discovered I carried the wrong ATM card, little cash.
Traveling further with a girl from Lithuania, she knows all the right places to stay in, and cheap :P
Will go back to make a small donation at the meditation center I just completed a 20 day silent retreat in - most precious 20 days of my life. Would not exchange it for 20 years in heaven - if someone makes an offer than is he he.
Will be gone to Sarnath, Bodh Gaya, Rajgiri and then possibly to Nepal (Lumbini).
I love you, may you be happy.
Peace
Traveling further with a girl from Lithuania, she knows all the right places to stay in, and cheap :P
Will go back to make a small donation at the meditation center I just completed a 20 day silent retreat in - most precious 20 days of my life. Would not exchange it for 20 years in heaven - if someone makes an offer than is he he.
Will be gone to Sarnath, Bodh Gaya, Rajgiri and then possibly to Nepal (Lumbini).
I love you, may you be happy.
Peace
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